Avoid the Seven-Year Itch
Have you ever heard of the seven-year itch? It seems that after seven years many serious couples get to a point where they start to feel bored…really bored…the same old routines, the same old conversations, and the same old sex. Don’t let this happen to you—spice up your sex life and save your relationship! Communication in the bedroom should go without saying, but even couples that have been together for a long time have trouble telling each other what they truly want or need for fear of sounding strange. If you have a fetish that you are dying to try, discuss it with your partner in a tactful and honest manner, they may be more open to it than you would have expected. According to a study done in the Journal of Sexual Medicine those with a wilder sex life actually have better mental health. People with more standard sex lives, referred to as “vanillas” may find statistic odd, but experimentation shows imagination and by keeping things interesting we will always have something new and exciting to look forward to. A small example would be food, has someone ever said to you, “How do you know you don’t like it if you have never tried it?” We should always aim to try new things in every sense, whether it is food, hobbies, activities, ways of thinking, traveling—the list goes on and on. Why should sexual intercourse between two consenting adults be any different? Keeping an open mind both in and out of the bedroom can actually help deepen the bond between couples.
Women in particular are afraid to communicate to their man that they may want the sex to be a bit rougher. Men have a tendency to treat women very delicately in the bedroom as a sign of respect, however different studies have show that there is a real and healthy correlation between sex and bit of playful aggression—as long as your partner feels comfortable there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. The key is not to put any rule aggression in the mix. However wrestling, pressure, spanking, light hair-pulling, domination and submission, and even a little biting may excite you both far more then you realize.
Teasing is another way to prolong the act of sexual intercourse. This could go anywhere from a little foreplay, to a prolonged sensual massage, and lastly a scintillating lap dance. The longer you hold out the more intense the sexual encounter will be in the end. You and your partner can also experiment with different textures and extreme sensations. The delicate use of ice or heat around different areas of the body such as the nipples may produce a heightened sense of arousal. Just remember to be safe.
The use of the toys in the bedroom might also make things a bit more interesting. Visit a sex shop together or browse through one online, then you can decide what might interest to two of you. The need for sex is a primal urge that is felt by everyone, there is really no telling what you may enjoy until you try it, sometimes it is okay to push the boundaries of the norm, just make sure that you both feel safe and comfortable.
Role-playing is another sexual game that has been known to put flare back into the bedroom. This allows couples to play out fantasies that they have always dreamed about and may never get to try without the use of a little adult pretending. Of course there are the obvious clichés like the sexy fireman or the naughty cheerleader, but some role-playing can actually become quite elaborate. If you have a deep-rooted fantasy that you want acted out, both you and your partner may feel strange in the beginning, but ultimately grow to love it.
Exhibitionism or sex in public places might also get the heart racing and heighten sexual arousal. This doesn’t mean to walk out into the middle of a crowded street, strip off your clothes, and start making-love right there, but get creative. A dark alleyway while walking home, a dressing room at the mall, a moonlit lake—when the mood strikes you there is no telling where it might happen. Sex on the beach has always been glorified in films as a highly romantic place to partake in the act of physical love, but don’t forget there is sand on a beach and the way things play out in your head may not be nearly as wonderful in reality, however it could also be better, you never know.
Lastly, threesomes, swinging, and partner swapping have been discussed as ways to broaden your sexual horizons, but this truly depends on the couple. If both parties believe they are emotionally ready and have discussed the pros and cons, then it is totally up to you. However once you have gone through with it there is no turning back and it may ultimately lead to regret. Even if you believe you have both thought everything through there can always be surprises, and some of these surprises can be damaging. There are extreme risks when adding an extra person to a monogamous sexual relationship, granted there are couples that are totally comfortable with this type of lifestyle, but in this instance you are crossing a very thin line. Be weary of this type of spice, it may be too much for both you and your partner to handle and could quite possibly end up costing you each other.